Writing a Eulogy: Finding the Words When You Feel Lost
Writing a Eulogy: Finding the Words When You Feel Lost
Few tasks feel as overwhelming as being asked to write a eulogy. In the middle of grief, when emotions run high and words seem to escape you, the thought of summing up someone’s entire life in a few minutes can feel impossible. But a eulogy isn’t about capturing every detail — it’s about sharing love, memory, and humanity in your own voice.
What Is a Eulogy Really For?
A eulogy is more than a speech. It’s a way of honouring a life and giving those gathered a glimpse into the person you knew. Some eulogies are heartfelt and emotional, others are lighthearted and filled with humour. There’s no “perfect” eulogy. The best ones are simply real.
Where to Begin
Start with memories. Jot down stories, quirks, and qualities that come to mind. Don’t worry about structure at first — just let the memories flow. Think about:
Their passions and hobbies
How they made others feel
Funny or touching stories people always told about them
The lessons they left behind
These fragments will form the heart of your speech.
Structuring the Eulogy
A simple structure can help organise your thoughts:
Introduction. Thank everyone for coming, explain your connection to the person.
Life overview. Share where they were born, significant milestones, or achievements.
Personal memories. This is the most powerful part — the anecdotes that reveal character.
Closing. End with a reflection, quote, or final goodbye.
It doesn’t need to be long. Five to ten minutes is often the right balance.
Tips for Delivering It
Keep it conversational. Speak as though you’re telling a story to a friend.
Use notes. You don’t need to memorise every word — bullet points can guide you.
Don’t fear emotion. Tears, pauses, and laughter are all part of the moment.
Practice aloud. Reading it out helps you hear the rhythm and adjust before the day.
When Words Don’t Come
If writing feels too hard, lean on others. Ask family and friends for memories or stories to include. Sometimes even a single shared anecdote can spark inspiration. And if you’re truly stuck, a short, simple speech — “We loved him. We will miss him. He taught us…” — can be just as powerful as a long one.
Making Space With Capturfy
When emotions are high, details can slip through the cracks. Capturfy helps families plan the service step by step, including space to upload photos, choose songs, and coordinate who will speak. With a 30-day free trial, it brings structure and calm, so you can focus on the words that matter most.
A eulogy isn’t about being eloquent — it’s about being honest. Whether your words are polished or imperfect, they will carry the weight of love, and that’s what people will remember.